Don’t feel like Gaming…

How can that be? How is it possible? How can I not feel like gaming? Aren’t I the GamingAngel? I run a website that talks 24/7 about gaming. And yet… I don’t want to play. I’ve been trying to catch up on what we call a “backlog of shame”. The backlog is filled of older games that I never finished but mean to. Some games even have the cellophane wrapping on them. When I look at the games that are slated to come out, I am ecstatic. I can’t wait for Diablo III or Torchlight II or Borderlands 2. I want to play Journey which recently came out. But there is something in me that wants to do anything but play a game.

What have I been doing? I’ve been working on organizing my project ideas. Thinking about creating an app for TTC couples. Working on launching a new project and trying to figure out new ways to keep GamingAngels interesting. Our staff had a great weekend at PAX East (a gaming convention in Boston). But while they were gaming, I was planting bulbs and digging out dead trees from our backyard.

Even tonight, Matt is not feeling well and I have a book I want to download to read for a review on Pulp Angels. My last book review was Oppression by Jessica Therrien. Which I loved and recommend. Maybe it’s that books are easier to sit and digest in a smaller amount of time than a game? Less commitment in case I feel the need to put it down and multitask?

I absolutely love gaming. I have loved it since I was a little girl playing arcade in a laundrymat for hours. But lately I feel uninspired with games. Like we’re getting more of the same. Lately I feel uninspired by the gaming community, a community that most recently launched a very vocal campaign because they were dis-satisfied with an ending of a game. Note, I haven’t played the game, so I have no idea if I would feel the same way. But in the grand scheme of SHIT THAT IS FUCKED UP, I have to say this is very low on the list. Is it wrong to feel that if half that energy went into what our government is doing then maybe Gay and Lesbians would have the right to get married everywhere and women wouldn’t have to feel like second class citizens where men are deciding what should happen in their bodies.

Typically I don’t play games because I feel like watching tv. While Game of Thrones, House and 2 Broke Girls are amazing, some of my previous guilty pleasures are now turning me off. I watch Dance Moms and watch the moms scream at each other while they should be focused on the happiness of their child. Man can those kids dance. I told Matt I watch the show for the 10 minutes that they show the kids performing. Because it’s joy to see the passion for dance in their eyes. But the way these parents act on reality shows (the new Texas show, Dance Moms, Toddlers & Tiaras) it makes me wonder just how fucked up the next generation is going to be. There was a time where being in public meant to act with respect and dignity. But now it seems everyone has thrown that out the window for 15 minutes of fame.

I wonder if I’m going through a phase. Where I just don’t want to hear or deal with the bullshit. I don’t want to see bickering over things that just don’t seem important. I don’t want to see people putting each other down for reasons that don’t matter. I don’t have time for it. I don’t have time for the drama and I just want to create. I want to create something inspiring and amazing. I want to get lost in a great story for hours. I want to fight a dragon and feel like I’ve saved the world. I want to put time in and feel a reward not a financial but a reward of personal satisfaction. I want to network and meet other people like me. I want to talk about our problems and come up with solutions. I want to create. I want to be creative.

In the end…maybe I just don’t feel like gaming for right now.


  1. MogKnight says

    As someone who has essentially surrounded himself with games, games and more games, I can completely understand what you’re going through. For me, it wasn’t just the ending of ME3 or the on-disc DLC thing with SFxT but also the press bombing of everything fighting game related that was started off of one guy and his terrible mistake. I remember losing a lot of sleep because there were so many attacks towards a community that I hold close to my heart!
    Too many people enjoy drama and it sucks when we’re all involved in it. It sucks even more when so many people are speaking off of some high horse that does nothing but repeat everything that everyone has been saying for the past few weeks. It’s hard to ignore it when it is all over your feeds. :/
    But, I did have a chance to go to PAX East this year and that easily made me forget everything and I’m pretty sure mostly everyone there just didn’t care about the drama ramblings that have been going on and are simply enjoying themselves. Heck, it’s impossible to do everything in PAX because there’s so much to do in only three days, I just don’t have time to give a damn about the silly stuff. I got to play Killer Instinct on an SNES hooked up to a CRT, effectively warping myself back to 1995, long before the internet and long before I even cared about “reality” and the drama that came along with it.
    In the end, it’s all about the games.I feel that it is our duty as content creators to bring out what is most important. We don’t always have to be playing games but we also must remember why we do it in the first place. Hell, it gives me hope. :3

    • GamingAngel says

       @MogKnight yeah. I think we do have to bring content to the gamers and let them find content that interests them. I just hope we don’t have to stoop down to cover the drama. 
      But more than that…I hope the games industry strives for more. Enough with the mindless sequels and mediocracy. 

  2. crunchychocobo says

    The community is making lots of things sour, I agree. I’ve never wanted to walk away from gaming as much as I have over the last month. It’s ridonkulous.

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