People say the most interesting things when you are pregnant. Most of it isn’t bad, but it’s just interesting. Some of it may come from a protection standpoint. Or everyone loves babies so maybe they love to comment on pregnant women too? I remember when I was out in Vegas to speak at Bloggy BootCamp, a rather intoxicated lady asked if she could deliver my baby in the elevator. Interesting since I was only five or six months at the time? Yeah, wasn’t quite ready for labor, but she felt the need to inform me that she’d be there for me if I was.
Then last week there were two incidents. One was funny and the other I can’t quite let go of. Going into Costco, the greeter says to me, “Looks like you won’t get your tax refund this year.” Pretty funny since she will be born (hopefully) after the new year and we’ll have that tax refund on the next year’s taxes. I remember someone I knew being so happy that they were delivering on the 31st so that he could get that tax break.
Later at my hairdresser, we had a full conversation about my pregnancy. When I saw her last I was only a month or two pregnant, so I wasn’t ready to tell her yet. This time was the first time she had seen me pregnant and she wanted to talk to me about every aspect of it. Which I love btw. I love hearing other people’s experiences, and how they did various things with their little ones (or quite grown up little ones now). But then toward the end of the haircut, she went on a ten to fifteen minute rant about how people don’t die in labor anymore. How she’s never known anyone and how hospitals are amazing because we have such a low death rate for mothers (which I think isn’t quite correct. Or it’s that the complications rate has gone up but not deaths. Not sure.) That part of the conversation felt like hours. In my head, I immediately think…oh no. This is the part in the movie where everyone knows what’s going to happen next (mom dies during labor). No tirade goes on for that long without the sad ending. She just kept repeating how she didn’t know anyone that’s ever died in labor. Or maybe the words kept echoing in my head.
Since then I’ve been able to let it go…a little bit. But I was definitely affected by her comments. I can’t understand why someone would even bring up the topic. That night, I went home and made DH promise to raise pumpkin right in the event that I did die. I was so shaken by the whole thing. Well I think I still am actually. You go through the classes and the prep, and you think…well worst case scenario, I don’t have the birth I want. I get a c-section or have to have drugs or maybe it’s too painful. But you never think…I might not see pumpkin be born. That I might not make it out alive. I never thought that until this conversation with the hairdresser. Now with only a few weeks to go, I can’t get it fully out of my mind.
It feels a bit crazy for this to stand out so much in my head. Especially with all the happy moments I have right now. For instance today a woman was so protective of me at the hospital (I was pre-registering) and she kept watching me like I could go into labor at any second. It was cute. I love feeling pumpkin moving and responding to things she may be hearing (like music or DH’s voice).
I just wish sometimes, people would take a second to think about what they are saying.