Hi everyone! It’s been so hard to find time to write! My iPhone Evernote app has the start of many outlines for different things I would love to write about. But when I have a free moment, I just want to sleep.
I have spoken on Facebook about my difficulty with breastfeeding. In the hospital, pumpkin latched really well the first two days/nights, but on the third I was told that she was losing too much weight and had to be put on formula (Simulac Advanced is what we are using). I didn’t argue because again, healthy baby is most important. When we came home, we continued to supplement her while I tried to get her to latch. All of a sudden she wouldn’t take. Pumpkin would look like she was nibbling and then push away. Causing me to keep her on formula to maintain her growing appetite.
In the meantime, I am pumping using the Medela Advanced Pump in Style, allowing me to pump both breasts at once. Talk about a weird experience. First, I had to get over the total boredom of sitting in one place for 20 minutes holding onto two canisters onto my chest. I am someone that cannot sit still. I’m horrible at Yoga or meditating. I have to be doing something or else I’m thinking about all the stuff I have to do which makes me REALLY ANTSY. Second, it’s incredibly humbling…(is that the right word>) to watch the milk get collected. Praying that this time you’ll get more than an ounce. Watching each drop spill down the barrel. Literally it’s one drop at a time at times. In my mind, every drop collected helps Pumpkin.
We had a Lactation Consultant over to look at myself and pumpkin to see if we can “make it work”. Luckily, pumpkin still has a good want to latch and the only issue is I don’t have enough milk flow to satisfy her. So I rented a medical grade pump and I’m pumping away. The second day I’ve used the pump I have made it to 9 oz which is a good increase.
I am hopeful that this may work, but in the end, I’m thankful that I can give her any breastmilk for as long as I can. It’s amazing how frustrating breastfeeding can be. And how polarizing a topic. It saddens me how many women in my “groups” feel guilt or like a failure because they are unable to breastfeed. I have really felt this way myself. Formula smells horrible, it gives her gas, and stains everything (thankfully washes out though). But in the end, pumpkin is starting to get chubby and has so much life and energy in her eyes that I know everything is okay.